Is there something inside of me..

The topic is pretty self-explanatory, its been a few months since I’ve blogged things have been looking up for me here lately..until now.

I’m a little on the leery side wondering if I may currently be pregnant. I missed a few pills not even a full month ago I thought I was fine, and I had also started a pill that was supposed to make my pill less effective and i got off of it. Now here I am 2 1/2 weeks after my last “time of the month” wondering if there could possibly be a chance that I’m well pregnant.

I wouldn’t have even been the slightest bit worried till i started showing similar early symptoms that I showed the last time I got pregnant and heck I’d even agree and say “Hey its all in your head” except the vivid dreams are so vivid I can keep a dream log and still recall such vivid dreams HOURS after being awake. Looking at my pills I have 12 days till my next “time of the month” I took several tests all saying negative but it’s too early to even know..

From the recent cramping, the dreams, soreness in my lower back, I’m beginning to get a bit worried and I had planned to keep all this from my boyfriend TIL he found a pregnancy test in my purse and asked when and why I had got it.

As much as I’d love to be pregnant, like LOVE, he doesn’t want that right now since he has two of his own plus my one makes 3. Were 25 (me) and 28 (him) and yes 4 kids would be an awful lot to take on but why does part of me secretly wish that maybe something might be growing inside of me.

I guess only time will tell, it doesn’t help I haven’t been taking my pills at the same time and forgetting a lot lately. Anyone else ever experience super early symptoms before they could even test? Am I crazy for deep down kind of hoping that I could be?

-Blankk

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GET READY FOR BIZARE. I just went on “free online tarot reading” annnnd look what my second card said:

Card 2: What you want most right now »
The Empress
The cards suggest that at this time you desire comfort, security and happiness and may well need some emotional support and reassurance.

If you are considering having a baby the desire will be very strong at this time, or perhaps you are already pregnant and you have some concerns. If male, perhaps you are considering fatherhood with someone but have concerns.

Things will turn out fine, just know that you are loved and that there are people around you who care.

JUST, WOW!

-Blankk again

I went to see a Psychic/Medium

Haha what a title to start with but it’s what my post is about so why not. I decided to do something spontaneous and see a psychic/medium today. Do I think she was right…probably not but for $h!t$ and giggles I did it.

The psychic instantly picked up on me and my boyfriends troubles and I decided to use her like a councilor and actually confided in her with the situation. OH! while were on that topic I also talked to his ex-wife. Can you believe this…she actually agreed with me..100% and said she never even thought of it that way and told me it was inappropriate and she agrees and she said they both thought it was normal and didn’t even think of it that way and that that’s one place they shouldn’t be alone. Then she told me she definitely doesn’t want a personal key to his house because that’s also overstepping some boundaries. Kinda a little victory in my book that even she agreed. SO anyways back to my psychic/medium…she told me she could see my boyfriend and he has a very dominant personality but to stay  firm with my beliefs and not to budge because he doesn’t like to think he’s wrong. She also said this will either make us or break us but if it makes us she said were going to last a very long time.

I jokingly asked if she saw anymore kids for me in my future..she said she did..1 more and asked if I wanted to know the gender, she claimed a boy. Its funny I had a tarot reading done last year and they said I’d have one more but that it would be a girl. My fingers are crossed for that. 😉

So after all the silly psychic nonsense she channeled in spirits around me and picked up both on my mom and childs father. She pretty much described them to a T which was cool. She told me to watch for my mom in my dreams that she is the woman in white. With my sons father she described him as very protective over me and feels regret for the anger and temper he had with me. She then let me know that he talks to Noah and I can communicate to my sons dad that way by just listening to my son.

So do I believe any of this? Semi-sorta.

Was it a cool experience? Absolutely!

Are me and my boyfriend okay now? I still can’t answer that he’s still strong on thinking he’s right about letting his ex-wife have a key to our house and that its okay to be alone with her in our bedroom, so if he won’t budge best believe I won’t either.

-Blankk

(Feel free to comment any kind of questions I didn’t hit)